WARNING #1
I had a doctors appointment today to check if I am dialated at all. We are going out of town to my nephews baptism and just wanted to make sure we were in the clear to "travel".
Nurse to Natalie: You know you shouldn't travel past 36 weeks.
Natalie to Nurse: Uuuu...we are only going an hour and a half away.
Nurse with pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows: But you know you shouldn't travel!
Natalie with smug inflections: It's like walking around the grocery store for an hour and a half.
Then I realized that didn't really make sense but I still pretended like I one-uped her.
WARNING #2
After my doctors appointment I decided to go to *The*Public*Library* (say it with a big freaky booming voice with shaking in the back ground and you'll get a better idea of what it's like for me to go there!)
I handed over my library card and asked for a computer. Keep in mind, I've been a very good girl about keeping the "one hour" rule for at least 5 times in a row. I've even left 3 to 5 minutes early as to ensure I don't go over. Don't you understand how much you can get done in 3 to 5 minutes of stalking time?
Librarian to Natalie: I need you to watch the clock. It looks like you've gone over your hour multiple times.
Natalie to Librarian, leaning in to make really good eye contact: I KNOW. I've been warned multiple times.
Librarian to Natalie: Well then, you know you are on probation and if it happens again you will lose your privileges.
Natalie to Librarian: Well, if it happens again, I will just come back in a disguise and apply for a new card under a new name.
I didn't really say that, but I wanted to. It was a great suggestion from my brother Miles. He told me to draw on a mustache and slick my hair. I'm sure they wouldn't recognize me...even though I would still be sporting a huge pregnant belly!!!! Funny! (We think we're really funny...and most times - WE ARE!)
He also suggested I start heavy breathing and fake labor if they tap me on the shoulder again. Seriously, I'm gonna try that one!
So, the day is still long. I'm going to see what other kinds of WARNINGS I can pick up today!
3 months ago
6 comments:
You are getting in trouble everywhere you go! Maybe it's time to stay home, skip class (or whatever) and watch 90210 on TV!
Hey, you never said if you are starting to dilate or not....are you??
The library "incident" is brutal, that makes me mad, come over anytime, tell the librarians what they can do with their little card.
Keith said that the next time they "tap" you on the shoulder, start in with the false labor due to "startling" you and send your lawyer husband in to do some serious computer privilage control. Believe me, no one will be tapping your shoulder again.
Also, just think, "what would Karen Bangart do if someone tapped her on the shoulder and told her that her time was up"? Let that answer be your guide. She gets away with anything!!!
Um...I went to Jamacia when I was 7 weeks away from my due date. I didn't get into any trouble. I can't say the flight or 2 hour bus ride was comfortable but it was well worth it. I did ask my midwife what she thought about it and I was healthy and not about to go into labor so she was absolutely fine with it. I just think medical professionals like to make you paranoid because it gives them job security.
PS. you can run a marathon and if your body is not ready to go into labor it isn't going to. You may get tired, have some contractions and be really thirsty but you won't go into labor.
I think I am done now. ;)
This is great info to know.
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