Lately, and mostly in a panic, I've been trying to politely tell Ian the appropriate things to do and say to comfort me while I'm in labor. I've also tried to explain there is a LARGE list of inappropriate things to do and say while I'm in labor, some of which he (and I) may not be aware of until that very moment. One night, we read a chapter out of a book about what the "coach" should expect to do and what to be prepared for. The book was clear and straight forward about some of the unexpected things that might annoy the woman in labor. I was hoping Ian was listening and taking mental notes - because goodness knows I am not the most patient person even when I'm not in pain.
After reading, I asked Ian what he thought was the most important thing he got out of the 7 pages of "coaching". His reply: "The coach should remember to pack some snacks for himself as labor can take a long time."
Wanted: A new birthing coach. Must be available in the next 1 to 7 days. Requirements: Must believe that the suffering, emotional, and screaming woman on the narrow cold bed is more important than snacks!
Today I took Ian back to work after lunch so I could have the car to run a few errands. Before he got out of the car, he leaned over and kissed me. Our noses touched and SHOCKED just a little tiny shock. Ian, looked at me and said in a very whinny voice, "ooouuch!"
I just looked right back and said, "You gotta toughen up!"
He took a long glance down at my bulging baby belly, then looked right back up at me and said, "I'll have to remember that one!"
Oh my gosh! If he even thinks about using that one on me in the delivery room this baby will only know her father from pictures!!!
6 months ago
16 comments:
Hey Natalie, Annette Mortensen here, sorry hope you don't mind I found your blog on Brad and Noel's. Congradulations on your baby, I am very excited for you guys. We have two boys, life is fun and a little crazy. Our blog is flagtownmafia.blogspot.com
Nat, I can be available to coach if you need. Just remember, Ian has never had a baby, therefore, should not be expected to "Coach". He can stand there and feed you ice chips if you need, but anything he says or does can't be held against him. Besides, anything he says or does will be negated by the worst pain you will probably have to endure in this life...you won't even be paying attention to him. If you're anything like Carrie you won't want anyone near you except for those who are absolutely qualified to be there. Ian, just sit in a chair and say, "if there's anything you need Natalie, I'll be right here". Then pull out your Doritos and thin mint cookies and finish whatever game is on TV.
here's a tip for your birthing coach: don't video tape the women in labor during contractions!
I was laughing so hard about this one, because men are all the same. Tyler agreed with Ian and so as he was arguing his case, I slammed the door on him.
Bad advice Sam, baaaaaaad!!! This makes me think that perhaps, Nat, you should have paid more attention while we watched the baby channel the whole time you were here.
My advice: push from your bottom, not your face. (that sounded weird, but it's true. women will understand, men...maybe not so much.) This will keep you from wasting your breath without progress.
hee hee, in Sam's defense I must say, he was a great hubby in the delivery room. When I'm not feeling well, I just don't want people hovering over me. So, what he said is pretty true-he sat in the corner and watched episodes of '30 rock' and if I needed something, he was there in a jiffy. It was perfect, for my personality.
Natalie, I can't imagine you WANTING someone stroking your hair or asking you every 5 minutes if "you are okay" or "you are doing a great job" when you are in the middle of a painful contraction. Ian will be a fabulous coach as long as you tell him exactly what you do or do not want him doing... :)
Lindsey, you crack me up! It's true, don't push from your face or you'll pop some capillaries!
I'LL DO IT!!! I'm all over it! And I'm a highly qualified motivational speaker, so that should help (except for the highly qualified part, which I'm not...but I AM good!)
Good Luck Nat,Pat and I are cheering for you (listen hard, you can hear it).
I'm still laughing at this one, Natalie. One thing a husband should not do is comment on the beautiful view out the labor room window. When Carl did this from the labor room at LDS Hospital (during a contraction, I might add), it was the one and only time in our married life I told him to go to _ _ _ _!! Seriously, we should probably give Ian credit--he had the good sense to marry you, and he'll do well on this one too!! Looking forward to hearing about this little one! (Pat C.)
Hi Natalie,
Aunt Jean (Cogdill) here. I finally got my act together and found your blog thru Tres and Roseanne's. My labor with Melisa was kind of funny cause w/Uncle Doug's back turned (he was putting on a gown) my water broke and it sounded like a water balloon hitting the floor! He turned around really quick and said, What was that? I told him it was my water and he needed to go get the nurse.... he was outta that room soooo fast... it was a hoot... (probably would have been funnier if I hadn't been in labor at the time!).
Good luck! We love you guys!
Aunt Jean and Uncle Doug
Yep, pushing with your face--not such a good idea. Did that a little with the first one. You quickly figure out that doesn't work. (I even had the little busted capillaries!)
Adam is really good to stand there and look amazed and tell me how great I did after it's all done. That way, I feel like Wonder Woman and that keeps me happy through labor. I'm sure he does more, but I can't remember what.
So, good luck Superwoman! (You can't be Wonder Woman, cuz that's my title!:) ) You'll do great!
One word, four syllables...ep-i-dur-al. Remember that and Ian will not bother you at all. On a side note POOOOOOOOOR Ieeean!
PS I hope you poop during labor. I know we both share the love of a good POOP story!
Ok, so I might as well leave my paragraph too... Husbands do much better when you get an epidural. Going through Zack and Abby w/o anything made me want to kill Tres and everyone especially the nurses and doctors. The words "Are you ok?" never felt so infuriating! With Grant and the epidural, everything was sunshine and buttercups. Just say yes to drugs!Sorry to all you naturalist but ask the gazelle being chewed on by the lion if he feels that nature always knows best.
This girl know what she wants.... Natalie has had first hand experience ! She caught my barf in a little pan while I was in "transition" with my twins 6 and 1/2 yeas ago. Hubby had just had knee surgery (was of no help) so Nurse Nat stepped in. THANK YOU NAT!!! Than much to our surprise (and all of yours I'm sure) she played a musical tune in the hall with her farts. So Natalie has seen it all... parts that we will never speak of again!
Love you guys.... Ian will be a great daddy... and a huge support.
Sage
I'm laughing so hard right now that with my bladder in its weakened state, I just might pee. I felt the same way. Todd would mess up, laugh, and makes jokes about the breathing exercises, only massage me for 1.3 seconds at a time, and basically fight A.D.D. all through the birthing classes. However, he totally stepped up when the time arrived. Good man! Ian...STEP UP or she will kill you!!! A woman in labor is strong!
I wanna be your labor support! :)
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