At church yesterday, an "experienced" lady in Relief Society asked me, "How can you tell a First Time Mom from a Mother of 5?"
"When the binkie falls to the floor, the First Time Mom will immediately pick it up, boil it for 10 minutes, and make sure it's properly sanitized."
"A Mom of 5 will find it in the toilet, dip it out, wipe it on her pants and call it good!"
Totally true.
I am a First Time Mom!
I'm trying my hardest for the
"First Time Mother of the Year 08" award.
* I go to Target at least every other day looking for nothing in particular.
* Instead of using the microwave for 10 seconds, I warm up her bottles in a bowl of water, adding at least a good 7 minutes of extra loud crying to the already frantically hungry, crying baby.
* I only forget the diaper bag when I'm going to be gone from the house for longer than 3 hours.
* I tell the baby's daddy, "you're not doing it right" all the time.
And finally* I ordered 1 million dollars worth of pictures of her 1 month photo shoot at Sears Portrait...and then went across the mall to Kiddie Kandids and ordered another 1 million dollars worth from them.
Seriously, who needs that many pictures of your 1 month old???
Oh, a FIRST TIME MOM DOES!!!!
How in the heck does a first time Mom afford the rest of the months pictures?
Daddy scolded Mommy and said, "Tatem is gonna havta wait till she's TWO YEARS OLD for her next photo shoot."
Oh Daddy. Maybe you should try for the
"First Time Daddy of the Year 08" award. (See the Mommy for the qualifications)
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